4 MIN READ
PM Concept: Assuring Quality Performance
The thing about Motherhood is that with each new experience with your kid(s) you will find yourself in a position that puts you face to face with how you think you will react in a situation vs. how you end up reacting.
Case in point…
I have never thought giving an allowance to a child was a good idea. In my mind, you are part of a family that loves you unconditionally, provides for your every need (and 98% of your wants) so your JOB as a kid is to 1) Do well in school and 2) do your chores. After that everything is gravy.
As a PM, who has had the responsibility of managing people too, I often say these things to my kids:
- This behavior would be unacceptable “in the workplace”
- You would get fired if didn’t follow through on actions at work
- I get paid to do a job… And if I don’t do my job, and do it well, they WON’T pay me… at least not for long!
As I struggle to get my kids to consistently accept responsibility, I find myself re-evaluating my tactics. Before you go judging, know this… I have penalized, rewarded, motivated, overindulged, under indulged, made an example of, punished the whole, rewarded the whole, reasoned, and said “you will do it because I said so” (My all-time least favorite thing to say), as well as dangled privileges…
… and STILL… consistency with their responsibility is not occurring. I say this to emphasize my sincere effort and willingness to think inside, all around, and outside the box on this issue. So now that school has started, and I see the old habits popping up again, I am forced to re-evaluate my stance on some things. And it is at this moment that I stand face to face with what I thought I’d do vs. what I’m about to do – AN ALLOWANCE!
It hits me during my peaceful no-kid, 12-minute ride to the job while praying and reflecting that…
Instead of telling them they wouldn’t get paid for doing a sucky job at work, why don’t I just show them! MAKE THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES THEIR JOB, BUT WITH A PAYCHECK!!! Maybe, just maybe, allowing an allowance is just the reward-motivation-penalty all wrapped into one that I’ve been looking for with some fringe benefits that I hadn’t considered – until now!
If we allow an allowance…
I can have a tangible metric of performance THAT IS OF VALUE TO MY KIDS!
Telling them “you need to set an example for your siblings” doesn’t work. They could care less.
“When you get older, you will appreciate” – you will likely get an eye-roll.
Theirs is a generation of instant gratification. So sometimes you have to do what my mother used to say to me when trying to influence people, “Ayanna, sometimes you have to meet a person where they live”. And having money of their own is of major importance to my kids.
They can FINALLY see what it feels like to not get paid when one doesn’t perform
In the real world, if you show up have the time to do work, then you will get paid half the money.
When you thought you were getting a $10 allowance and you already know what you going to buy with it, but only get $4 because you didn’t finish all of your chores, that is a rude awakening for a kid.
We can teach our kids how to responsibly spend & save
Another adage of my mother’s, “Ayanna… With PRIVILEGE comes RESPONSIBILITY!
My kids won’t get to spend it all willy-nilly… They have to:
- Set aside their tithes
- Identify something specific they want to save for
- Set aside money for that goal each week
- Use the rest for their desired spending
I have a Sophomore in HS who believes needs AND wants are provided by Mom & Dad, and only “certain” wants are his responsibility. Soon he’ll be in college, we need to teach him (and his siblings) these skills now.
They will have to make want vs. need decisions – Just like adults!
Sure, they won’t have any major life decisions to have to tackle.
But when you’ve had your eye on a certain Beyblade toy set, like my 11-year-old has for some weeks now, but you lost your jacket that mom told you to keep up with or you’ll have to replace it with your own money, you truly understand the reality of spending your money on a need even though you have a burning want.
Last but certainly NOT LEAST, If we allow an allowance…
The arguments about homework, chores, studying, and planning will level off
NOW… doing well in school is a priority worth working for!!!
Already I am seeing a difference, in their priorities during the week. The Promise of a new crop of money is keeping the sink cleaned and homework turned….which is no major feat with all of the extra-curricular activities in which they participate.
So now that I think of the money as a motivator, the lessons on part-time pay, the benefits of a saving tutorial, them living the reality-show of wants vs. needs, and their vested interest in changing their priorities,
Maybe, just maybe with a little more skin in the game, they’ll be able to feel that NOT doing well hurts them both NOW and LATER… A lesson that only life can teach you, so why not start it in a safe space with a lot to gain.
Because at the end of the day, Moms, you can only assure quality performance of a joint goal with your kids when there is joint motivation!
