Mommy Down!

… 4 Ways to Get Yourself Up Again

Funny story…. I, Mom, decided to race my 14-year-old (athletic) son at the park recently. So, I did what I thought was a winning move, but instead:

I pull my hamstring
AND sprain both sides of my ankle
AND conclude with a “pretty sloppy fall” as stated by my 11-year-old 😒

Picture this… As I’m writhing in pain, “Speedy Gonzalez”, has passed his pain-stricken mother. He’s absolutely NO help right now! Meanwhile, a crowd of park parents (and nosey onlookers) are gathering around me asking:

“Ma’am, are you ok?”

“Is there anyone I can call for you?”

“Is there anything we can do to help?”

Even at this moment, with all my pain, I think to myself “I’ve got this… I can handle this”. So, what do I do? Politely turn down the extra help and put a plan into place. Plan: YELL!

“Jordan!! Call your dad and tell him to get to urgent care quick, ‘cause Mommy did something she had NOOOOOO business doing, and she needs him to come… NOW!!”

MOMS…smh! Is there ever a time we feel we CAN’T handle a situation? There are certainly times that we really DO need help. But in this case, I needed to help myself first and THEN be okay with some support.

So how do I do this? I’m a Process Mom. I like to solve problems with a plan. A few thoughts from my work as a project manager came to mind. I just needed to define what must get done, have a team I can trust, and work the plan.

This is how YOU can help you!

Mom To-Do Lists: MUST-Do’s vs. WANNA-Do’s

We juggle the amazing work of multiple roles, simultaneously – i.e. – mother, wife, employee/employer, church member, gym partner, volunteer tutor, etc… Well, guess what Beautiful…this isn’t sustainable. At some point, you’ll fumble, burn out, or both.

Better Plan: Always know your “MUST-Do’s” at any given moment and set a limit for your “Wanna-Do’s”.

With a double sprained ankle, I see my world differently … It’s exhausting to do normal stuff. Trial and error and sheer exhaustion forced me to separate what is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY and URGENT, vs. good (or even important) ideas, that just isn’t necessary AT THIS TIME.

I find myself budgeting my stamina (and sanity), offering enough for basics, like bathroom breaks and a little extra for wants like finding a good book to read while cooped up in the bed. The ankle makes me realize that if you over budget your sanity, you’re sure to go crazy!

Shed Some Mommy Work

As moms, there is nothing we won’t do for our kids. Which sounds wonderful and selfless, and makes you feel all good inside. But here’s the thing… it could be causing your kids to play you. 🤔🤨

Do you know a mom who’s task-oriented and will get the job done – even if she has to put herself in the gap? You know, a Worker Bee Mom. Well, my kids picked up that I have this tendency. So these “wonderful gifts from God”, have let me run myself ragged, while they are off on a device somewhere….. 😠!

Things changed with the sprained ankle. Now THEY have to HELP ME and I have to LET THEM!

One child carries my things up & down the steps
Another brings me food
One morning, one even had to help me put my pants on…lol!

And I’m finding that things around the house are still getting done, even if I can’t do it. Lo and behold, these jokers are actually stepping up to the plate and handling their business… OUR business, as a family.

Now, I don’t have to walk into their rooms multiple times to progressively wake them up for school. Instead, I call them on their watch phones to wake them up, and THEY GET UP (well most of the time) …and, if not… I just call them again!! No more quietly sneaking to their room to catch them in the act of wasting time🤯!! Oh, there’s no turning back now… sprained ankle or not… they officially get WAKE UP CALLS from now on!

Draft Your Support Team

What my kids were beginning to show me and my husband/ parents had already shown was that I had a 1^st round draft pick of people who loved me enough to step into the gap too. I knew it but I thought this only applied when I was sick or out of town…lol!!

Well, as I am getting better, the support around the house isn’t waning. Nobody is saying “you’re better so, I can chill right?” Chores are getting done, if not on their own, a simple reminder is all it takes now.

I posted the story of my failed mother-son race on social media, as well as updated some friends, coworkers, fellow church members, and fellow moms. The outpouring of offers to help in any way has been awesome!

And it made me think….

In a time of need, where the ask could be BIG…. all of these people are willing to help! Why haven’t I asked them to help me with the little stuff like – kid carpool to an activity, help with an overloaded task at work, or watching out for my kids playing outside so I could rest up my foot (and my mind).

I could see now that they were the 2^nd draft pick of people on my support team. I may not need to call on them often, but they were sure to come through if I couldn’t be in two places at one time. I NEEDED TO BE OKAY WITH GETTING HELP FROM THEM!

Live and Learn… and then do it all again!

As it turns out, the sprained ankle has done me some good. I have found a way to help myself first even in what’s been a vulnerable position. I’d be lying to say that I’ll stop piling on “MUST DO’s” and “WANNA Do’s”. I mean, I am who I am… I find a sense of purpose in every role I take.

BUT NOW I think…

When Mom sanity is over budgeted, become more conscious of MUST-DO’s vs. all you want to get done (Doesn’t take an injury to force it now)
When life gets to be too much, just shed some WANNA-DO’s.
Keep the 1st-round draft of support around…lol! A sense of responsibility is allowing the kids to find pride in themselves and allowing you to see you taught them well.
Let the 2^nd round draft support know you need help. You can’t be in 2 places at one time.
- SIDENOTE: To allow a 2-way street of support on my team, I try to send a quick text here and there saying, “Just had you on my mind!” or “Hope all is well with you!”.

And THAT’S the plan! Maybe it should be yours too… just don’t wait until you’ve sprained your ankle to figure it out 😁… try it out ahead of the next onslaught of life!! It’s sure to take some weight off those super strong Mommy-shoulders and free up some SANITY!!